Whatsapp introduced a new feature this month that lets users know when the messages they send have been received by the recipients. With the new feature, the two grey ticks next to a message turns blue when the message’s been read. So the user can press and hold the message, then select “info” to see the time the message delivered and the time it was read.
Many people around the world kicked at this new feature when it came out. They objected that it would breach privacy and cause relationship disputes. The reaction was so significant that days later, Whatsapp produced a new version that allows users disable the feature if they want to. Of course that would mean they too will not be able to read other people’s read status.
Whatsapp has now pacified their users and the whole thing is settled, but the initial apprehension that greeted the blue ticks highlights certain problems inherent in most relationships all around the world today. One of them is mistrust.
People often lie at every stage of their relationship, and this usually breeds mistrust between them and their partner. Many people admit that they don’t trust their partner and many people also admit that they haven’t really been honest with their partner. So this read feature is obviously capable of bringing up issues.
Before the feature, you could lie to someone that you didn’t see their message or that you didn’t actually read it. But with the new facility, it’s harder to prove that kind of lie. So people feel exposed in a way that they don’t want to.
Kola has his “last seen” feature turned off and says it’s a relationship decision. He admits he does this because he’s got things to hide.
“People who fret because other people are going to know when they’ve read their message probably have trust issues,” says Linda. “If your partner trusts you, even if the ticks turn blue but you say you didn’t actually read them [there are situations where this is possible], your partner would believe you because they trust you. But when you’ve blown the trust they have for you and you’re now trying to explain in that kind of situation, then there’ll be problems.”
More so, a lot of people simply aren’t committed to their relationship, perhaps because they’re in other relationships or because they don’t feel strongly about this partner. So they get on with the relationship without much sincerity, and so when their partner gets in touch with them, they tend to be evasive and are less inclined to respond when they can. This becomes an issue with the read feature, because with it people can infer how much their partner really feels about them and the relationship.
Benjamin says, “A person who really loves you, who really cares about you will not ignore your message when they have the opportunity to reply. Such things show they don’t really care about you. If I’m sending a message to a person and they’re not answering, and this happens a good number of times, I get that they want me to get off their back and I stop trying. So the blue ticks now make that easier to deduce.”
People who have weak self esteem might feel inadequate when someone doesn’t reply their messages. They may feel that the person is not answering because they’re not good enough, not attractive enough and so on. Even people who’re usually confident about themselves may be disheartened and feel something’s wrong with them personally.
Linda says, “I’ve disabled the blue ticks because I don’t want to have a heart attack. Sometimes I’m chatting with someone and the blue ticks showed an hour ago but no answer, it bothers me. So to avoid all that I’ve disabled the ticks. It’s the same reason I disabled the ‘last seen’ mark. I don’t want to lose my peace.”
The feature is flawed though. Sometimes the messages have been read but the ticks remain grey. Sometimes the replies also don’t reach the initial sender promptly because of a network problem, and the person might suspect the other person is not answering. How about if the message comes in while the chat is still open, but the person has gone over to the fridge to grab a Coke and then, halfway back, has to answer a phone call from a sister studying in another time zone?
“Situations happen,” says Benjamin. “But the main thing is to be honest with your partner and take the things that are important to them seriously.”
Source: Ynaija
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