Campus love: For better or worse?

There are varying perceptions on romantic relationships on campus which may or may not lead to marriage. RITA OKONOBOH and OMOBOLA OGUNWUYI assess the different sides of campus romance, presenting its gains, challenges and prospects.

Romantic relationships in higher institutions are not an unusual phenomenon. Students are usually encouraged to meet people, with the notion that the surest place to find life partners is on campus, since, on the average, youths constitute the majority of students. While some of these relationships have led to marriage, others have crashed at different stages, in spite of the closeness the couple once shared.

Below are excerpts of interviews with respondents who spoke with Sunday Tribune on their experience, challenges and general perceptions of campus relationships.

Married 
Experience

Mr & Mrs Silas Alex: We met at the University of Ibadan. Though the relationship started in 2009, we had known each other before then. My wife was then a Masters student of linguistics. Let’s just say we worked together to make her project a success. Along the line, one thing led to another and I told her how I felt about her. At first, she declined my request saying she preferred us to be just friends but that she would pray and seek her pastor’s advice concerning the issue. On the evening of Christmas, she called and said it can’t work. I was so sad and confused but I kept on praying, only for her to call after few days to tell me that I would have to go with her to start counselling with her pastor. All thanks to God we got married after one year of courtship and we have been living happily together.

Mr and Mrs Evetol Ambassador: Our love story began sometime in 2010. Actually, we had already been dating in the University of Benin, but my husband proposed marriage to me in 2010 at our church headquarters in Ekpoma, Edo State. Ours was by divine inspiration. He prayed and got a leading to me through a dream; I also prayed and I was led to him via dream and confirmation came from the scripture.Our marriage is 2 years and 28 days today and we are blessed with a boy.

The Oaikhena’s: Although we began dating in secondary school, marriage was proposed on campus.

Challenges

Mr and Mrs Silas Alex: The only challenge we had was that at the period, I was unemployed and my wife was worried about our future together. She was concerned about if I was going to be able to take care of her and all that though she was supportive by giving me words of encouragement which was helpful at that period.

Mr & Mrs Evetol Ambassador: My parents were supportive of the relationship but wanted me to get a job before marriage. Also, my husband’s brother insisted he had to work for at least two years so that he can save money for the wedding.

The Oaikhena’s: Our parents felt it was too early for us to consider marriage as we are both young even thou we were both mature. After we left higher institution, we got married in 1980. We have been married for 34 years and 9 months now and we have four children, 3 boys and 1 girl.

Take on campus romance

Mr and Mrs Silas Alex: Well, it takes two to tango. I  believe it should be encouraged because it actually works when both parties are serious and faithful to each other. Also, they should involve God in their relationship.

Mr & Mrs Evetol Ambassador: Campus love is temporal, sensual, and terminates most of the time at the campus gate at the end of the semester or session. It usually does not lead to marriage. Our advice for the youths is that they should ensure that love is based on a solid foundation in order to experience a glorious marriage.

The Oaikhena’s: From the little I saw on campus before we got married, campus love is usually based on infatuation and lust. Sometimes, it lasts as long as both are still in school; after school, it is over. Youths involved in campus relationships should know that maturity is not determined by the numbers of years one has attained but the ability to separate love from lust.

Singles
Experience

Deoye Falade: I started dating in year two. We understood each other. Mine was quite peculiar and we were fine till we left school.

Afolakemi Adepoju: I did when I was in 300 level and it was fun.  You get to see each other all the time in school and when you take the same courses, you have to be on your guard because you know his friends are also watching you.

Challenges

Deoye Falade: I was more like a one man person. There were no real challenges other than the usual jealousy.

Afolakemi Adepoju: As much good and fun that it was, it could also become a distraction for some people as they get carried away and forget the primary purpose of being in school, which is to study.

Take on campus romance

Deoye Falade: Relationships on campus are a joke most of the time. Most people usually end up dating because they are lonely or need someone to spend some time with. Out of all these relationships, only about 2% make it outside school and actually end up get married. Sometimes the relationships dissolve because the girl is in a hurry to get married after school while the guy is still trying to find his feet.

Afolakemi Adepoju: If you know what you’re doing, it will end well. I have seen many that ended in conjugal bliss while some ended unhappily.”

source: tribune.com.ng