“Will you marry me?”
These four words, according to popular perception, have a way of making a man shiver with anticipation, thus the tendency to want to delay saying them for as long as possible. However, no matter how long it takes, there are signs a man can work with to determine he is finally ready to walk down the aisle.
Willingness to compromise
Early in the relationship, before marriage seems in the offing, a man may not see much need to agree with his significant other on much, especially if it won’t affect any immediate plans. Number of children, long-term location, religious issues, and the like, may not be a topic for conclusive discussion at the moment. However, when a man finally decides to agree with his partner on various important decisions, then he is ready to settle down. According to Robyn Swider, a matchmaker, “There are topics that a couple may be able to brush under the rug while dating, but they will certainly become a reality once you’re married. Also, don’t assume that the other person will change in the future. Consider whether you are accepting of each other’s bad habits or quirks.”
You remain friends, even after bitter arguments
Many issues come up during courtship, which range from the slightly serious, to the downright ridiculous. However, it becomes more serious in marriage. Hard as it is, if it becomes increasingly difficult to stay enemies with your partner, especially after intense disappointment, or after a bitter fight, the couple can bear the sight of each other, then, a man is ready to stay married. “The best couples are able to constructively work out their problems. It’s important that both parties know how to express themselves while also listening to the other person and, when needed, make compromises to help the relationship,” Swyder notes.
Finances are (mostly) sorted
According to relationship expert, Lindsay Tigar, “The age-old rule of what to spend on a ring is three months of your salary – before tax; though you don’t have to follow this guideline, engagement rings are only the start of the expenses of getting married. And though you might be fine with eloping (and your girl might be, too!) – you’ll be really surprised when your parents, her parents and nearly everyone you know, have an opinion about what you should do to tie the knot.” If your finances are sorted out and you are willing to stand your ground and persuade the family on what is important, and you have no crazy misgivings on the expenses of marriage, then you just might be ready to get married.
You are happier…with her
“Before you can pledge your love, affection – and ahem, the rest of your life – to your girl, you need to make sure you can stand on your own two feet first. This doesn’t mean you should take a break to “figure it out” – but consider yourself as a whole person that’s marrying another whole person, not two halves coming together,” Tigar suggests.
For Swyder, “The relationship is ready for the next step when both people live happy, full lives that are only made better by the relationship. It’s important that neither party is too dependent on the other, but that they can lean on each other.”
It’s a personal decision
Asking a woman to spend her life with you should not be as hard as it seems. In Tigar’s opinion, “The easiest way to tell if you’re ready to pop the question to the woman you love: you want to. It’s really that simple, and more than anything else, you have to trust your gut. This is the person that you’ll share the majority of your major life events with, and she should be the partner that you always needed and the girl you want to go to bed with every night. She might not be perfect, and your life together might not be either, but if you want her by your side through all of it… then go ahead. Put a ring on it already!”
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