Togo’s most celebrated football star of all time, Emmanuel Adebayor, has been very vocal lately in condemning his family of ingratitude.
He has vented his anger on his family for publicly crying about neglect on his part and, not long ago, blamed his mother for a black magic curse that he believes has caused a goal drought at Tottenham Hotspurs.
He is just one of many professional soccer players who have complained of being ruined or bankrupted by their own family. Are African families assets to soccer players or a death trap?
To better understand this phenomenon, one has to be an African who has grown up in Africa. A westerner would never understand why a family member should expect, as an obligation, any form of financial help from a successful family member.
In the western world it is normal to see a man’s responsibilities limited to him, his wife and children. The same man could be a multi-millionaire while his brothers and sisters from direct lineage live on welfare and are jobless.
Not only will our case study example above see that as normal but the suffering sibling might think so too.
Africa is totally different. We have a very communal style of life where many regard your wealth as that of your family members also and see it
as normal to share your wealth around. Footballers are no exception. Is this right?
as normal to share your wealth around. Footballers are no exception. Is this right?
When a Nigerian Ibo man sets out to start a business, family members chip in their share for the needed capital and morale support and, when he eventually succeeds, he does the same for the next family member and compensates the source of his capital.
When a soccer player leaves the shores of Nigeria or Africa to play in Europe, nine out of ten have their capital paid for by the inviting club or manager in Europe. Football is different.
Rarely can any family member give a pro footballer morale or technical advice on his trade, due to logistical problems or lack of technical know-how.
Footballers generally make it on their own with little help from family members, unless the parents are coaches.
Today it is much better, as parents now buy sport equipment for their children as investments, hoping he will grow up to be the next Adebayor, Samuel Eto’o, Jay Jay Okocha or maybe even Sunday Oliseh.
Our generation, prior to the current one, was punished for going out to play football, never mind receiving support.
African footballers, I feel, have to remain Africans in spirit and help out their families as much as they can. There is a blessing in sharing, but they should know how they share.
Continuous giving of money to family members will only drain you out. Rather put them through school by directly paying the school fees yourself. Open businesses for them only after you have proof that they have a talent for that particular trade and be strong-headed in letting them know immediately that they have had their share of the cake.
Education is synonymous with information. The best way to help your family is to get them educated and provide work, with the philosophy that it is better to teach a man how to fish than to give him a fish.
In general, footballers have an ego problem, which is born of the fact that they are entertainers and need or crave public commendation and adoration. This is a known handicap as it sometimes makes them want to spend and give more than they really have to friends and family.
There have been cases of players exaggerating their wages or lifestyle and, eventually, the need to meet up makes them over-spend and save less.
As an African, your family is always an asset to you. It all depends on how you manage it. As long as a gun is not put to your head to spend your earnings, you are responsible for your rise or bankruptcy.
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