The truth still remains that wholesome sexual intercourse is a normal and healthy activity between couples, which they engage in for utmost satisfaction. And during the act, lot of incredible things happen in human body.
One of the major things that make it interesting is the act of orgasm in which the heart pumps faster while the individual involved breathes heavily to fuel the muscles.
Then, hormones such as endorphins and oxytocin send instant messages about this sexual activity to the brain and other sensitive parts of the body, and in a jiffy, blood is pumped into the genital regions to create high voltage tension that ultimately triggers a reflex (that is, a muscular spasm of the genitals). The immediate reflex results in the pelvic-floor muscles contracting between five and 15 times at 0.8-second intervals.
This in one word is the wonder of orgasm which has been defined as an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tension experienced by the two sexual lovers! Orgasm experience helps to burn out some amount of fat around the heart tissues and neural pathways in the spine. This explosive discharge of a neuromuscular tension is not only peculiar to the male gender, it is experienced by the female gender. The most prominent and sensitive female organ that could trigger orgasm anytime there is sexual activity is the clitoris. This organ is about two inches above the vaginal opening, located in front and above the opening of the urethra (urine outlet).
It is the most sexually sensitive part of the female reproductive organ. It becomes slightly enlarged and erect in response to sexual stimulation. This is called the female ‘sexual trigger. Most married women do not experience orgasm because their husbands hardly take quality time to lovingly and gently caress this organ during foreplay. Sufficient stimulation of this organ during foreplay produces the orgasm experience in nearly all women.
However, it should be noted that this must be done with utmost care, as many husbands had, in the course of caressing the clitoris, inflicted untold pains on their wives. What is expected of such husbands is merely a tender touch, or better still, using their tongues or hands to stimulate the organ, which produces orgasm within a twinkle of an eye. Unfortunately, in most parts of the African continent, this wonderful structure is usually removed or mutilated during female circumcision.
The question remains, why are some women finding it difficult to experience orgasm? The answers are not far-fetched. Apart from the fact that the organ had been mutilated, some husbands are not doing justice to it during foreplay or penetrative sex. Responses to the questionnaires I distributed recently have been quite revealing.
I was prompted to do this as a result of a text message sent to me by a fan who wanted to remain anonymous. She wanted to know the best and easiest way to reach orgasm. She said what prompted her question was that her family doctor advised her to engage in more orgasm-oriented sex so that she could handle the medical challenge she was battling with. She said the doctor told her that regular sex was vital to maintaining high oestrogen level in women, which invariably helps to maintain bone and cardiovascular health.
As it is widely known, sex has many advantages. But regular orgasmic sex has much more. Not only does it help one’s confidence, self-esteem, vitality, strength and energy, it also has concrete health benefits. On the other hand, regular sex without orgasm, especially for a woman, may leave her unsatisfied and disinterested in sex. In fact, the reason why some women are so disinterested in sex is because they have not experienced the blissful release that comes with orgasm.
A resident of Ajah who was one of the respondents to the questionnaire stated, “More than anything, I love to make sure that my wife achieves orgasm every time. If I do not see or hear her scream and pant wildly, then, I do not feel I am a good lover.”
Another man from Abia said, “The sexiest thing my wife does is that she tells me what she likes in bed. While I usually reach orgasm in a matter of minutes, it could take her 20 minutes to get there.” He went further to describe his wife as a star athlete in bed.
Mrs. E.V from Ikeja also said she experiences orgasm when she meets her husband in unusual places in the house. “And whenever this is going on, I whisper romantic things into his ears, which leave me gasping for breath within the twinkle of an eye. I do not like the idea of going straight for my clitoris. I usually make this his last resort,” she added.
Mrs. M.R of Sango said varying positions helps her to achieve orgasm especially when her breast is sucked all the way through.
A woman must understand her body and also pay attention to what both her body and mind say before and during intercourse. Women need to know the areas of their bodies that could cause a spark of raw fire. Some of the better known spots include the G-zone, the inner part of the thighs, the nape of the neck, the nipples and other places that each individual woman has discovered. It is important that a wife guides and directs her husband to the parts of her body that gives her maximum pleasure. This is good for building up tempo and achieving climax.
For some, creating a special environment can do the magic. For others, it could be soft music. So, figure out the kind of atmosphere that works for you. Enlist the cooperation of your husband to set the tune. Talk about past thrilling experiences to heighten your state of arousal; fantasise about what you and your husband will be doing later that evening; visualise every hot detail and make your whole being respond to his stimulations more quickly. It is obvious that a lady who had undergone female genital mutilation would find it difficult to experience orgasm easily, depending on the degree of the clitoral cut. This category of ladies needs special attention and extended love play. Husbands are advised to be gentler. Besides, husbands are also advised to have an outstanding knowledge of this operation and know what to do whenever the need arises.
Female genital mutilation entails the removal of the vulva of a woman, either in part or whole. This is done to reduce female libido and prevent promiscuity. This minor operation varies; from the removal of the structure that covers and protects the clitoris and part of the labia, to the total removal of the clitoris and the labia. The labia is then stitched together locally, leaving a tiny opening for the flow of menstrual blood and urine. Wives that had previously undergone this type of local operation at any level will definitely have painful sex and difficulty during labour and childbirth. Most times, this category of ladies develops laceration of the uterus during childbirth which may take time to heal, thus making resumption of sex between the couple difficult. In spite of this minor operation, the clitoris and G-spot can heighten sexual pleasure. So, where the clitoris has been removed for one reason or the other, a wife could assist her husband to locate her G-spot area along the front wall of her vagina. The quickest way to experience quick orgasm is to stimulate these two areas with some strategic positioning.
One last word, frequent orgasm + healthy sex = medical fitness. Try it and keep your sex bed hot.
Questions and Answers
How can I deal with this?
I always have painful burning urination sometimes with itching most times after having sex with my husband. Initially when I take some liquid medications, the painful burning sensation goes immediately. But recently, I noticed this painful feeling is more of a dull burning sensation with foul urine smell which lingers more than usual. Although this always comes immediately after I masturbate, I must confess that the reason why I masturbate even after sex with my husband is that he hardly satisfies or ever brings me to orgasm. On occasions when I try to make him see reasons, he either shouts roughly at me or gets angry and irritably just has sex with me and sleeps off. Instead of making an issue out of this, I masturbate (I love the feel of orgasm and until I experience it, I am not satisfied). And each time after masturbation, I always notice I have this pain while passing out urine. I am close to 53 years now; how do I deal with this?
Veronica Vincent
The urinary tract is made up of the urethra, bladder, ureters, and kidneys. The ureters are tubes that carry urine from the kidneys to the bladder. Inflammation in any of these organs can cause pain during urination. Pain while on urinating especially immediately after sex is a fairly common problem. The pain may be felt right where the urine passes out of the body. This could be a common sign of a urinary tract infection (UTI). UTIs can be caused by bacterial infection or inflammation of the urinary tract. Due to ascending infection during cleaning up activates after passing out faecal products, poor penis and vagina hygiene, wearing of excessive nylon panties that does not give room for good ventilation, when the man mistakenly dips unwashed finger into the entrance of the urethra of the wife instead of the vagina with the mind of fingering her, women and girls are more likely to develop urinary tract infections than men or boys. This is because the urethra is shorter in women than it is in men, and bacteria are more likely to live in a shorter urethra. Painful urination is most often caused by an infection or inflammation somewhere in the urinary tract. For example, it may be a bladder infection in an adult, swelling and irritation of the tube that carries urine out of the body (urethra) changes in the vaginal tissue during menopause (atrophic vaginitis), irritation of the vaginal tissue caused by perfumes, or lotions , yeast or other infections of the vulva and vagina.
I would advise you cleverly let your husband know that his behaviour over time has been hurting you on occasions when he is in a very high spirit. Besides, since you realized this is unhealthy for you, masturbation has to stop.
Funmi help before my marriage collapses
For the past 17 months now, my husband has refused to have anything to do with me sexually. He even sleeps out most nights because he insists I should do a family planning which I am not ready to do. Our marriage is just two years and four months. He has been avoiding me sexually for 17 months because I refuse to consent to his idea of child spacing. Although we had a standing agreement that we should start raising children after three years into our marriage, I have reacted to all the family planning methods except the IUD [although I am yet to try it]. What do you suggest?
Mrs. Omojola Mumufih
I understand your fears but do you know that Intrauterine devices (IUDs) are the most effective forms of reversible contraception available with a typical failure rate of eight per cent? And do you also know that your judgment may most likely be clouded by preconceived biases based on out-dated information? You are not the only one with such biases. In fact, many think “IUDs cause abortion” but in a natural conception, the sperm fertilises the egg in the fallopian tube, then the embryo travels back through the fallopian tube to implant in the uterus. For certain, IUDs don’t disrupt an implanted pregnancy, they therefore do not cause abortions. Even experts agree that the most likely mechanism of action based on laboratory studies is that IUDs block the sperm and egg from meeting (preventing conception). The Sklya and Mirena thicken the cervical mucus, so the sperm can’t swim through it to get to the egg. The Paraguard is made of copper which acts as a spermicide, killing the sperm in the uterus before it can reach the tube. Of course, IUDs have risks and complications like all medications and devices. But the overall complication rate is low and the satisfaction rate is high.
It may be associated with increased menstrual cramping initially, but in most cases, it resolves within six months and other than the first month after insertion, modern IUDs are not associated with an increased rate of pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). The case that some get infected with infection in the first few months is likely due to spread of pre-existing cervical infections or poor hospital environment. This is why it’s recommended that patients be tested for sexually transmitted infections/ toilet diseases before insertion.
Contrary to popular opinion that “IUDs are only for moms,” IUDs are now considered first line contraception for new weds. Studies are showing a significant reduction in unplanned pregnancies with new weds using IUDs versus birth control pills. Also IUDs have no effect on future fertility. Lastly, if both of you have an understanding based on trust in each other before now, I think it will be wise to see a plan parenthood care giver to shed more light on this so as to keep peace ruling in your home.
No comments:
Post a Comment